Lull

  1. Joan Didion and I are in her summer place.
  2. She serves me what she calls a Hawaiian
  3. Burrito which is wrapped in both flour
  4. And corn tortillas. Joan goes
  5. On and on about Hawaii and burritos and culture,
  6. How skinny
  7. I look, as in drastic
  8. And sick. Skeletal women
  9. Always do this. O Joan I say
  10. I don’t look that bad do I? Auschwitz
  11. Bad? Smiling much more than is sincere. Plump
  12. And game I remain nevertheless
  13. A woman. As in
  14. I know spite
  15. When I feel it. Time to do
  16. My job. Fat, sturdy, and inferior
  17. Like a globe to be walked upon
  18. By thee. My pits salt
  19. Wet and my thighs white.
  20. The strand shimmering
  21. In silver sun.
  22. In a white bikini
  23. I am not hungry. Also
  24. What is it about me that says
  25. Burrito to Joan
  26. Didion I want to say
  27. To Joan Didion
  28. And not like gravlax
  29. On pumpernickel rounds. Joan
  30. In chinos glares
  31. At me with all the rectitude
  32. And severity of former and
  33. Elegant times. It is not only
  34. Age and eminence she has
  35. On me. It is aristocracy
  36. Which has nothing
  37. To do with my value.
  38. I wish I were a worker
  39. Or a gay. A Genet or
  40. An old-
Fashioned man with hairs
  41. On her chest.
  42. Gee Joan I say
  43. I totally loved your tits
  44. Poking through your white
  45. Shirt on the back of Democracy
  46. And to my surprise
  47. She smiles. I meant
  48. To do that she says.
  49. It totally worked I say.
  50. You got me.