Prom King and Queen Seek U.N. Recognition of Their Own Country...Promvania!

  1. Most August Council of Member Nations,
  2. please accept this petition and attendant corsages—
  3. roses for the ladies’ wrists, magnetized magnolias
  4. for the men’s lapels. The dewdrops are glue and won’t
  5. drip. Lauren, my queen, your tiara’s dents are sadly
  6. spotlit under these fluorescents, (Sarah should
  7. never have said that about your glorious ass), but aside
  8. from the usual border disputes with Homecoming and
  9. Sadie Hawkins, we’re committed to peace. Pinky-swear.
  10. Yes, of course you have questions. We know how to
  11. spike punch to perfection and if a large percentage
  12. of our national debt stems from the nightly balloon-falls
  13. we require, there is much to admire in our high school
  14. treasurer’s thrift—she orders streamers in bulk and
  15. the prom court runners-up (we’d never call them losers)
  16. collect faux-fetti from the hole punches in the English wing.
  17. The right to have a perfect prom is inalienable, right?
  18. One of these nights, it’s going to happen— there’ll be no ex
  19. dancing by, starry-eyed, with her strapless inching toward
  20. topless (expect sanctions, Santana!), no need to photoshop
  21. added sparkle onto our CVS scepters. Press your hand to your
  22. cheek but pretend it’s someone else’s hand. Vote yes.