A Lover this Coarse

  1.  
  2.  
  3.                                                     //
  4.  
  5.  
  6. The first thing we love is a scene—
  7. a well-lit place where ravishing happened.
  8. The Sabine women.
  9. The Lovers’ dogpile.
  10. A crude analogy?
  11. Love’s an embarrassment then.
  12. Both flummox and coxcomb—
  13. taxonomically: Celosia.
  14. The bloom of outbreak, flaring up.
  15. What fascinates is a body in situation.
  16. A bright-colored fetish. A mar.
  17.                                                                               The soul’s rosacea spot.
  18.  
  19.  
  20.                                                     //
  21.  
  22.  
  23.                                                                  I’ve never tried bliss before.
  24. The manifolds make it impossible.
  25.                                        I was wearing a black peacoat
  26.                                        with the collar turned up and falling down,
  27.                                        whistling to Tequila.
  28. Being single,
  29. everything withers in the bud.
  30.                                        Perhaps it would be nice for a man
  31.                                        of sufficient means to happen along,
  32.                                        to materialize.
  33.                                                                  You were in monochrome.
  34.  
  35.  
  36.                                                     //
  37.  
  38.  
  39. But aren’t we charming when we’re inconsolable
  40. and thrashing at the stars?
  41. You caught my eye at French Roast.
  42. (Boy in Red Plaid).
  43. I can get so hysterical.
  44. If you see this, let me know.
  45. At a café once, my waiting
  46. turned flammable.
  47.              A soup to stir.
  48. A bed of straw.
  49. And though he was tepid,
  50. I was nuclear runoff.
  51. A lead-rimmed cocktail.
  52. If you see this, you should know:
  53. I became so fretful and fettered
  54. I swallowed
  55. my own food-poisoned heart.
  56.  
  57.  
  58.                                                     //
  59.  
  60.  
  61. It’s a darling thought,
  62. annihilation—
  63.                                                                               to swoon, to immolate.
  64.                                                                               The body wettening
  65. itself on the edge
  66.                                                                                             of the abyss.
  67. But I’m unapologetically
  68. raptured without you.
  69.                                                                               My aloneness is tender,
  70. the soul’s hangnail.
  71. Where there is a wound
  72. there is a subject
  73.                                                                               Roland says.
  74. And I ingest so many
  75. things in one small day.
  76. Lettuce, smoke, white wine
  77. from the freezer.
  78. Ephemeral,
  79. distilled spirit.
  80.                                                                               I’m easy membrane.
  81.  
  82.  
  83.                                                     //
  84.  
  85.  
  86.  
  87. I’m using the language of argumentation
  88. because what else is there?
  89. Nowhere Bar and on the street.
  90. I enjoyed being in the restroom with you.
  91. When someone asks you to love him
  92. you are being asked to be more you.
  93. You were blond with a beard.
  94. A tattoo on the back.
  95. Sunday morning and I pour myself
  96. a cup of misanthropy.
  97. I was Latino, 20 and shy.
  98.  
  99.  
  100.                                                     //
  101.  
  102.  
  103.  
  104. How do you love, finally?
  105. You in your room redolent
  106. of unlucky things—
  107.                                        I’m sorry the restroom wasn’t big enough.
  108. Lucky is vulgar.
  109.                                        Shot in the dark here:
  110.                                        You and your fantastic dog—
  111. you who search for love
  112. make manifest your own loveliness.
  113.                                        Wear something red tomorrow
  114.                                        and I’ll be sure to make a move.
  115. That gentlemanly art.
  116.                                        You live in New Jersey, too.
  117.  
  118.  
  119.                                                     //
  120.  
  121.  
  122.  
  123. If midnight is the hour for lovers
  124. illuminate me beloved
  125. the court’s yours—
  126. wordless in your hooded orb
  127. embowered thing
  128.              my lost Matryoshka doll.
  129. I like a man in Lycra
  130. so make a move.
  131. But you’re the world’s
  132. worst tennis mate
  133.              soul mate—
  134. double-faulted
  135. refusing the net, dead net.
  136. It’s always love-all.
  137. Why not sulk
  138. in my sensory deprivation tank, loveless?
  139.              Me and my bulky
  140. perception
  141. threshold.
  142.              What I take on faith I take lightly—
  143. bee-wing, dull pin prick,
  144. scent in a ten-room home.
  145. You were a voyeur
  146. in Central Park.
  147.              How should I know?
  148. My senses are dull
  149. flirt illiterate.
  150. Better off moonless—
  151. no itch, no impulse.
  152. In my saline vale
  153. I float.
  154.  
  155.  
  156.                                                     //
  157.  
  158.  
  159. But I’m logistically opposed to love.
  160.                                        All day the homunculus
  161.                                        of desire pulses.
  162.                                        My stranger.
  163.                                        My shared-interest.
  164. If I’m a candidate, then so are you.
  165. From its hood
  166. our happenstance moans and moves.
  167. I’m tired of being my own Saint
  168. Sebastian of missed connections.
  169.                                        Garden of Eden tonight,
  170.                                        deli counter. Blue sweatpants.
  171. A picnic to ourselves—
  172. that’s the idea, isn’t it?
  173.                                        (See Women in Love).
  174. Frantic and beautiful.
  175. The Lovers drowning in the lake.
  176.  
  177.  
  178.                                                     //
  179.  
  180.  
  181. Won’t you dance with me then
  182. on the corner of squalor
  183. and poverty?
  184. I am thinking of my father
  185. poor and dying.
  186. Isn’t this a feeling
  187. made for two?
  188. What are you into?
  189. You are
  190.                                                                                 taken
  191.                                                                                           but open
  192. 1300 feet away
  193. discreet
  194. I am visiting
  195. new to town
  196.                                                                                 looking
  197.  
  198. for friends                          activity partners
  199.  
  200.  
  201.                                                     //
  202.  
  203.  
  204. Doesn’t love insert itself with its meaty stub
  205. in any place and every climate—
  206. on a pool table
  207. in Miami
  208. in desperation
  209. on a school night—
  210. it’s not a poetic question
  211. but a matter of placement
  212. stodgy materialism
  213. when the beta waves
  214. of my soul combust
  215. where is my adoration
  216. my feeling—
  217.  
  218. on the school bench
  219. where I gave my sex away—
  220.  
  221. was it there?
  222.  
  223.  
  224.                                                     //
  225.  
  226.  
  227. I’m tempted to quit but isn’t art performative?
  228.  
  229.              Desperation made elliptical
  230.              and flatscreen.
  231.  
  232. What brings you on today?
  233.  
  234.              One must not repeat.
  235.              One must find new ways.
  236.  
  237. This conflation of boredom and hunger.
  238.  
  239. I always think I am going to be loved.
  240.  
  241.              My golden light.
  242.              The dusk-maddened cows.
  243.              Failing that, an amusing man.
  244.  
  245. How can they all be yours?
  246.  
  247. You haven’t swallowed them.